Blending

Even once you understand the psychology of a mind, you can't explain it.
A feeling unlike others, ultimately just calm, and you know. Noticing your pupils dilate without the drugs. Overall it's a reachable moment and you can't begin to even breathe the words out-to even attempt an explanation of this bliss moment.
Would it be happiness? It doesn't take happiness to understand a moment.
The thoughts flow through the creases of your mind naturally like the sudden shaking that comes with the cold or the jolting movements to music.
Noise, that's all it is, noise. And how do you make a noise? It takes a thought, a feeling, a notion or hunch. All forming into each other, as lovely as the last. Each noise or action leading to the next notion leading to the next noise. The noises combine and swirl into a commotion of
the next generation, which leads to the next and the next...in all they become a society and a life-all cause and effect, the scientific kind. How did art and science blend so beautifully? And how did society get so fucked?

The running

Running.. is it good or bad? For the weak or the smart?

We're all selfish people. We all want, something, anything. Some sort of feeling or possession to call our own. Now why do we simply shut out other's wants and needs? A friend...close friend, someone you brought into your world, YOUR world, and let them in and showed them everything you were-no smokescreens, and it is given back to you, a new world to see that isn't your own. Obviously a close bond will form. However balance is so necessary. So is it right for when one who has given finally needs to take, needs someone, and the person runs.
The feeling is not known by all, but the best description that can be written here is the feeling of utter rejections to a point that your co-dependency is crashing before your eyes. The effort is suddenly a complete waste of time and life, years even, years that you'll now have to look on bitterly. And now the psychological damage caused because of the ripping away. To be ripped right down the middle because you've grown so accustomed to having that extra lung to breathe with, that you now realize you're wheezing and you're so very sure you can't function. And then you don't want to. You don't want to try because you're sure you'll be crushed, another collapsed lung you can't afford.
Time does heal wounds but it's intriguing that not all can understand the feeling of suffocation. So while recognizing that rejection is one the deepest pains of humanity, why do we continue to do it? Is running smart if you know you CAN'T help or you're incapable...but how would you deal with it otherwise?
Also in this post, I'd like to add that I'm going to start taking questions from [anyone] to give advice to. Completely anon. if you prefer.

The contunuing

Continuing to write...whether you like it or not.

Observing more social patterns, how we treat each other. It's so odd, the barrier we all keep around us and even once it's broken-it takes so long to find the real person inside someone's head. Even then, there could be no one at all.

Curious how people will pile personality on personality and fake smile after fake smile and eventually lose themselves. However, no one is excused from the loss of personality and self. Personal experience speaks that once one has discovered that they're gone, it usually results in their darkest hour, the confrontation.
Once you've confronted your faceless face, you must then fill it in. All of it is effort and pain, and no, not even necessary, however it's your own opinion of whether you'd like to go through it or not.
So the question stands, to be a real person will substance and personality-often what carries out through history or dies alone, or to be another brick on the wall but well liked, less pain and more pleasure than imagined but at a steady rate that every sensation lacks the luster of life that many can only dream to achieve.
It all seems to come to honesty, and not just with yourself but with others. This doesn't mean to call every person you see a sick son of a bitch or a fat fuck, so on and so on, but rather-once you've let someone into your mind, thinking patterns and views, can you continue it? Most are far too insecure to allow someone in, because allowing them inside allows the a great power...to do great damage.
But what is life without pain?
But at the same time-what is life without pleasure?
Can goodness and badness also balance and intertwine to make a horrible horrible wonderful world?

Another question I've been savoring is what is real happiness in love...
Love yes, the popular topic that many pursue and can never understand but attempt to analyze with words and phrases. Cheaters are happy till their caught while the pain of being cheated on is simply indescribable. Yet...we still cheat. And at the same time what is it like to be second best? The other person? Pleasure always comes first before logic in the cheating world. In Greek and Roman times, whatever felt good was good. Now a life without thought obviously doesn't come out successful-however is it happy? Often when things get bad, is it best to run away...I don't believe so.

The starting

I have begun keeping a blog because everything else around me is a change and dizzying spin of movement and irregularity.
I'd love to have something to call my own-firm and unchanging, unless I say so otherwise.
This blog is going to be filled with the ramblings of a single person, with an open mindedness and willingness to hear from others. All forms of writing are of intrigue and comments or ideas about writing are welcomed also.
So here goes...
People are horrible creatures. Vile, vain, and greedy; always are fighting to come out on top or be the very best of each and every thing. And even when things are accomplished, good as are, it's still not enough. Not only will people destroy and humiliate others, but will refuse to leave it at that, they feel no remorse and shut out all other light in their own dark, cold, room. That's all it is really, a dark cold room where desires are a starvation, eating away at the spoiled so they may take more from any other creature close to them. It's a horrible thing and people continue to do this, and have even named these events as 'sin' and have punishment system called 'religion' for due process. Within this 'religion' people are allowed power and can gain higher role in said process. Even a god-fearing but somehow holy community can have RANKS or roles that you must step into line for. And so stands at the back of the herd, with the God-whip in their hand, the high men and women of these ranks, and who is whipped? You'd think the common man and his wife, but no, they were whipped a long time ago and hold their own whips as well. The main abused in this process is the child. The child, a small feeble thing, impressionable at best, will listen and not learn, however mock and imitate the whippings of their parents and take on the roles. Then they hold themselves higher...and so starvation and spoils begin. But then who is to blame? A question I can't find an answer to...

People are a beautiful thing. Born bare and learn to wear clothing and to talk. They learn to sing and dance and move with grace, when only mere animals themselves. They create art, art being the most everlasting of each society, lovely writing and paintings and drawings. Music that can entrance your very thoughts and create a new world for you...visuals and graphics. The technology and revolution has the world in a tizzy, and the competing continues and the successes become larger and grander. While we have rockets flying far and a new songs being sung and new photos being taken..the events and the glory everlasting. Each smile fading into the next as whole groups will feel a euphoria not quite like anything ever before. Eyes are lit as wildest dreams are soon discovered and beauty can be found within the mind and even to depths that never had surfaced before. A new idea and invention..a new life and a new love..a new dream and an old friend. Connections and ties...all together bringing us closer. How do we not love one and other when it comes down to mortality and quest of happiness, we're all the same? A question I can't find an answer to...

Conflicting thoughts and measures. Good deeds and cruelties, none of them intertwine or make sense. History and Science and Art and Math mix and while we have all the answers in books and computers, our minds rarely know what we're doing. So what are the answers? Will we ever work? Or are the imbalances just too much and we're all just ticking time bombs, the ones that think-and the oblivious and ignorant dance in bliss?
These are the questions that I can not answer...